I admittedly have a problem. I’m a glutton. Now before we continue this conversation, I have to stop you. When I say glutton, I’m not referring to eating. Don’t get me wrong, I love sitting down to eat a meal that has been put together with loving hands, or taking a bite of a delicate pastry that has just come out of the oven. However, overeating is something that sickens me. On the occasions that I have found myself in the place where I put too much food in my mouth, I feel sick, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. What I am confessing here is not the overconsumption of food, but the overconsumption of life.
I’m an all or nothing kind of person. If I’m going to cook a meal for my family, I want it to have a main course, two sides, and dessert. I want my coffees Venti and my schedule picture perfect. If I’m going to workout, only an hour will do. If I can’t fit in an hour with Jesus, then obviously He won’t be pleased to hear from me. If I’m going to use a planner then it has to be followed to the T. Any change or skipping of a duty is treason to my life. Seriously, this is a problem.
For those of you that know me as the person who loves adventure and trying new things, this may seem odd. The funny part is, I love the little things in life. I love randomly going to try a new activity or tasting a new kind of lemonade. Just ask the man (my husband) who has to constantly hear my “OOO’s and AAHH’s” over the changing of the leaves or the twinkling stars. He sees me breathe sighs of deep relief when I relish in a warm cupcake or cozy up next to the fireplace. A piece of chocolate can better someone’s life. A small candle lit makes a world of difference in a room. Yet, I’ve come to realize that I only enjoy the small things in life if they’re coming from something or someone else. If the things of life are about me or coming from me, then by all means, it must be big and good. It must be of the impressive kind of things, nothing less than the best given my this girl over here.
This seeps into everyday life and I’ve found that it affects not only my to-do list and my adventures, but also my joy. I’m afraid to take on something new because what if I can’t give it 150%. I’m afraid to start cleaning, because what if I only clean the counters in the kitchen! I’m afraid to cook because what if the flavoring isn’t just right or what if someone is still hungry; it would be a crime for them to have to take some berries out of the fridge to munch on. I’m afraid to start a new adventure because what if I can’t do my best. I don’t want to take a day off of work for a mental health day because what if someone is disappointed in my work ethic. I’m afraid to write a blog post because surely it could be longer, more in depth, more nourishing to the soul. What I need is grace, from myself, to myself. I need to give myself the permission to try new things, to celebrate in the little things, to spend only 30 minutes a day working out, to read only 3 pages in a book, to sip on a Tall or Grande sized coffee, to call someone I miss even if it’s only for ten minutes.
Do you need that kind of grace today?
Luke 16:10 says: “He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.” How many times have I been unfaithful in little things because I was afraid of how small it was? It’s okay to do seemingly small things. It’s okay to spend 5 minutes praying, it’s better than 0. It’s okay to fit in a 10 minutes workout, your body needs the movement. The dinner you’ve prepared for your family doesn’t need to be extravagant. Do the small things my friend. Take joy in the little things that you do, they’re enough, you’re enough.