She walks down the aisle, shyly blushing. Knowing all eyes are fixed upon her beauty. And all at once her mind goes back to those many times when her beauty betrayed her. The outward beauty hiding the pain, the regrets, the filth that she doesn’t want to believe. It’s all true though, she’s not good enough. Her heart is broken; it has been scattered by random passers-by. Each one taking a piece along their journey. Soon enough she was empty-handed. With nothing left to give she grabbed at whatever stood close enough, desperate to feel loved. Searching constantly for a hope, for something that seemed to be too good to be true. Everyone better than she, everyone deserving of more. Why does He consider her blessed? What purpose does she serve? Is she any good? Has she done any good for the One Who really matters? She looks back up at Him, compassion in His eyes, maybe He can fix the pain. Yet, with all of those mistakes, surely healing couldn’t take place. She shakes her head with shame. All around her she sees friends finding that relationship with Him. But where is her healing? The tears long gone, cried long ago. Yet something threatens to open, to let out all the emotions of the past. What would it be like to let them go? To let those broken pieces be mended by the Potter? The One, He could fix her, if He would. Could such a One as He treasure her with all of her filth? Could He find the beauty?
Jesus was hanging on the cross hurting; even though an agonizing pain was ripping through His body He prayed for the people who crucified Him… He was praying for us…. But that’s another lesson in itself. Was He the only one being crucified? Nope. Two thieves, one on each side… One said: “If you’re really Jesus the Son of God save us and Yourself.”the other thief replied: do u have no fear for the Lord God?” then he asked Jesus to remember him once He was in His Kingdom. Which one would you have been? A lot of times we puff out our chest a little bit and say we would’ve been the one that went to paradise of course. But if the scenario was changed to something in our lives today, would the answer be the same? How many times do we ask God to prove Himself: “I’ll follow You with all of my heart if You do this….” “If You are who You claim to be why am I hurting?” “If You’re really God why don’t You change this….?” For some reason I don’t remember there being a scripture on “How-to bargain with God.” or “Loving God will be a breeze.” or even one on “When you become a follower of Jesus you will understand His ways.” In fact I’m pretty sure there are a lot of scriptures saying the opposite. I’m not saying to forget about praying for God’s help. I even believe that when you’re praying you should express how you feel. God wants to hear our feelings and thoughts. My question though, is how are we expressing those feelings? Are you asking Him to do His will and to help you through whatever that will may be? Or are you demanding Him to prove Himself in ways that you think are best?
You’ve probably heard it said over and over again that we should share our thoughts with God; every emotion, tears, laughter, pain, joy…. I know on more than one occasion I have lacked in doing so because I thought it was pointless. Honestly, what’s the point telling God all of that? He already knows everything. For crying out loud He knows how I’m going to be feeling in 2015… However, tonight it clicked and I want to share this because maybe it’ll click for those reading it if you haven’t thought about it before. Talking to God throughout the day isn’t for Him… Shocker right? Telling Him our problems, well like I said before He already knows, He knew before it happened what would happen and how you would react! Telling God everything, every emotion, everything that happened during the day is for us! You see if you talk to someone daily, you begin to form a friendship. When you share your thoughts, your deepest emotions with someone, you begin to trust them even if you don’t want to! Then later on, when the relationship seems rocky you can look back on those shared memories and it’ll help you hold on to that relationship. Telling God about our day and the things we like and dislike draw us closer to Him. If you’re still not getting it, think of it this way… Lets say a friend of yours goes through a break up. You’ve already heard the story from a mutual friend, you know the pain from previous experience, you know your friend is sad. However, when that friend comes to you because she/he needs to talk you don’t tell them: “No need to tell me, I already know what happened!” You wouldn’t think of doing that. No, you listen sympathetically, hug them when needed, offer to help them, fix them coffee, give them chocolate; I think you get the picture… That whole time listening did nothing for you. It most likely didn’t benefit you. But your friend needed it… It’s the same way with us and God. He doesn’t need it, but He knows that we do.
I miss your hand in mine
The way it felt so right
When we didn’t have to explain our words
When we understood with just one look
I wish we were still there
Under that summer sky
Watching the stars as the time flew by
Where did the time go?
Why did it end?
I miss the sparkle, the ray of sunshine that your face held.
How we’d sit and look up at the stars as you told me so many things.
I feel like what we had was lost.
That innocent love, the fire burning inside.
I wonder if it’ll ever return, if its even possible.
I wish we had kissed, just so I could know what it felt like….
I can go for a while, living life just fine, then a dream will comeand it all comes rushing back. And then I miss you all over again.
I’ll contact you and we’ll talk, but its not the same. Something is missing.
I hope you know I miss you…. I’ll let go.
I want you to be happy… But my heart aches… I miss you.
Please be happy in your life. It’ll be worth letting go, if only you’re happy.